Unnecessary Stress?

Lately I have been getting a bit stressed. And I do not know if I am giving myself unnecessary stress. I've been having a lot on my mind. As some of you know, I am a Canadian and an international student studying in the UK. Just for good back-up should I take the Canadian registry exam so if things go bad or for some reason I have to return home to work I can. I have done some research and some people say take the exam after 2nd year because all the sciences stuff will be fresh in your mind. Some say do it after 3rd year so you have a bit more knowledge about the clinical side of medicine. Then there are some who say after 5th year (aka after graduating from medical school) because I would be more mature to take the exam. There are pros and cons for each year but you know if I am considering taking the exam after 2nd year or 3rd year I should really get thinking. I really do not know what to do. I'm stuck. In a way I am a bit hesitant about taking the exam after 5th year as I am worried I'll forget all the sciences stuff. But on the other hand, 2nd year could be too soon as I need time to study and it is now November...well in a few days it will be November and I also have to study for my final exam in the summer. Might be giving myself too much work! So in a way 3rd year seems like a good time but is it really too early to be taking the exam?

Second, I have a strong passion for surgery. Ever since I had the opportunity to learn/discover about surgery I have been non-stop thinking "I want to be a surgeon". Also for my 2 week hospital placements to shadow surgeons/doctors, I was fortunate enough to be paired with a general surgeon and a paediatric surgeon. Compared to others I found surgery really interesting. Can't believe some people say it is boring and actually would do anything to avoid going to watch surgery. I have been criticized by people that I am thinking too early, but to be honest, it is never too early. I want to prepare myself and really try to find as early as possible what I want to specialize in and whether or not surgery is genuinely right for me. About three years ago I was first exposed to Orthopaedic surgery. I was hooked. I thought it was interesting and I really enjoy sports medicine. When I reached medical school, I have seen a lot of surgeons/doctors teasing orthopaedic surgeons which essentially put me right off. "The carpenter of the hospital." "Oh you hear the hammering and drilling sounds? Ah must be the orthopaedic surgeons working." It seems to be that orthopaedic surgeons don't get enough respect. I personally feel that they should get a lot more respect than they really do as they do help a lot of people's lives feel better. Yeah they might not always be saving a life like a neurosurgeon or a trauma surgeon, but they have their part in changing someone's life for the better. Anyways so after being put off from orthopaedics, I found that I had a huge interest in learning about the heart. So I thought about cardiothoracic surgery. Sounds great. Love the anatomy of the heart, get to save lots of lives, prevent people from dying, and great pathology. Oh wait....it is at risk of getting phased out by them interventional radiologists. Plus the other day I went to attend a talk by an Orthopaedic - Spinal surgeon who discussed about thinking about the future. Need to think if the specialty you want to go in will still be here in 10 years time. He listed cardiothoracic and vascular surgery will be at risk. Great. Hmm. I obviously want to do something that has a lot of potential and has plenty of time to develop and not be at risk of disappearing. I did pay a lot of money and study really hard to get into a UK university and I definitely don't want to spend a lot of hard work at training into a specialty which could diminish in a few years time. I like to be on my feet, and excited about the future. The new technologies for surgeons and a field that is developing.

So the other day after attending the spinal surgeon's careers talk, I gave orthopaedics another look. Like it is a field that is developing and we have an aging population. There will be higher demands for hip replacements, knee surgeries, etc. So yeah I'm now jumping back and forth. Deep inside me I feel like I will end up in orthopaedic surgery as I always tend to go back to my first choices. Orthopaedics clicked with me early on and yes pathology isn't huge...but I could do a sub specialty into something that may involve interesting pathology.

Some others I have thought about are surgical oncology and ...well that's as far I have gotten to for now. My mentor is a surgical oncologist and specializes in breast cancer and after having a brutal four hour lecture from him, it actually seems quite interesting. Cancer will be out there for a long time and I don't see it disappearing anytime soon. It is constantly developing. Huge research goes into it. LOTS of people are affected by it. Very interesting pathology. Quite enjoyed it last year when we had lectures on it.

So you're probably thinking:

1. Are you done ranting?
2. Ok so what's the big deal? It isn't like you're graduating next year.
3. ZzzZzzZzz

On top of what I mentioned earlier, to become a surgeon you need a CV that stands out from the rest. What did I do last summer? Relax aka did absolutely nothing. My classmates? Oh well they volunteered and worked at their GP surgeries, went to the hospital to shadow surgeons and doctors. Great....my CV is already looking real unique now...more like in a bad way. So now I'm on full blown motivated mode. To be honest I need to speak to someone about my future. At the moment we are in the midst of changing our mentoring program and we still do not have our new mentors. I don't know how much longer will I have to wait to get my new mentor and I don't know how much longer I can wait with so much in my head. I don't know who else to ask other than my mentor from last year as he seems quite knowledgeable. Maybe I should have a chat with him, but he is soooo busy I feel bad wasting his time when I am no longer his "mentee". Hopefully he'll have the answers. If not, time to search for someone to ask.

Sorry for the long post. Hope everyone is having a great time at uni still and enjoying medicine!

Quick Recap.

Finally have some downtime to update my blog.

Anyways as some of you would know I'm now starting 2nd year of medicine in England and wow. We literally jumped right into lectures on the first day of school (20th Sept). First unit is on Skin/Urinary/Endocrine/Reproduction.

Same with last year - my enemy is still physiology. I can't get my head around renal physiology. It just seems so complex. This year's topics are starting to make last year's topics seem like child's play. Getting a bit worried - especially for exams. This year's exams will include some material from first year and they will not be specifying which materials from last year will be examined...so that means reviewing all of last year. Hopefully I'll survive, but this year I have adapted a new way of studying/reviewing.

Last year, I used to print out my lectures the day before and take a quick glimpse of it. After a whole year I realized it is a horrible way for preparing for next day's lecture. You cannot even consider it as preparation. This year I have decided to take my laptop with me to lectures. The night before I would type up the powerpoint for next day's lectures and when I get to class I'll add to the powerpoint that I typed up the night before. My notes are looking much nicer and organized. Also this forces me to read my lectures beforehand as obviously to type the powerpoint...you gotta read it. It has helped quite a bit as when I go to lectures I know what to expect and am more ready. Also this year I am trying to keep up with the recommended reading. Last year I left all my reading to the last 5 weeks prior to exams and it was the WORST idea ever. It was torturous and dumb. This year I have started marking all my recommended reading and actually taking a quick read through first so when I go back to read em before exams it won't be new/fresh. Hopefully this new method of preparation and revision will help me out.

Also side note: I hope all you freshers had loads of fun during freshers week. Hopefully no one is feeling homesick yet and have made lots of friends! Most importantly I hope everyone is enjoying their course and not regret their decision of studying medicine/regret their uni choice. If you are feeling a bit down/regretting your choice - please keep your chin up and try to enjoy it as much as possible. Let go of your previous impressions of the uni and try and experience the uni. Hopefully as weeks pass you'll get more and more used to the environment and actually start liking your decision to study at that uni.

Good luck to all with your course and hopefully I'll have more time later on to keep updating.

To the FUTURE medics!

I just wanted to quickly post out a congratulations to those who met their offers to get into medical school! As summer holiday slowly comes to an end (noooooo!) - that means freshers is getting closer! Get ready for a great time and don't be too nervous! Personally before freshers I was really nervous especially being an International student. I was scared I was not going to make any friends and will be going through freshers as a very lonely medical student. Those who are worried about friends in uni - DO NOT WORRY! You will find that during Freshers everyone is quite friendly as most will be in the same boat as you - looking for friends! The first people you'll meet will probably be your flatmates so get to know them and don't be shy! Be open-minded and don't be afraid to start up conversations. However, don't always just stick with your flatmates - open up and get to know your course-mates and join societies so you can meet more people! Trust me the thing you'll be worrying about during Freshers are peoples' names. I found myself saying "Hi" back to people who I have met but can't remember their name. Also later on you'll realize half the people in your contacts list on your mobile will be people you don't even remember meeting! Haha.

Freshers is a time where you will probably be both really excited and maybe a bit nervous. Pretty typical feelings. If you aren't even excited for Freshers because you are scared/nervous - don't be. Hopefully you'll find it enjoyable and a pleasant experience. However I think I've mentioned in my earlier posts (in my blog) from the beginning of last year where Freshers was a bit "overhyped". I still believe it is but every one is different. I am not the biggest party animal so I didn't go to a lot of Fresher parties - but in general I still had a great time and many of the people I met during Freshers are still my friends now and we all get along quite well!

And by the way - moving in is alright but remember don't take a lot of stuff that you do NOT need. You will regret it when you have to move out. I personally thought that I brought wayyy too many clothes with me. I probably only wore half the clothes I brought and the other half just clogged up space.

Anyways I don't want to make this post too long - but I'll link you to my previous posts where I wrote about my Freshers week and updated it pretty often:

http://crazylifemedstudent.blogspot.com/2009/09/freshers.html
http://crazylifemedstudent.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html

I hope these previous blog posts will help and ease some nerves. I think you'll find the second link useful as I charted out each day of my Freshers week.

If anyone has any questions please do not hesitate to contact me. Just post in the comment box and I'll reply back to you in the comment box asap or if you want you can leave me your email address and I can email you back.

Get excited for FRESHERS and a new chapter of your life!

First Year Medicine - OFFICIALLY DONE.

Great news - I PASSED! Yay! I managed to pull a 4 as well so I was quite pleased when I saw my mark. Sadly my celebration with my other friends kind of abruptly stopped an hour later when we got a phone call from one of our good friends that he has failed and need to do resits. We were quite shocked as this guy worked and studied quite hard and it was shocking to see someone who worked so hard has failed. It was definitely a sobering thought and snapped us out of our "cloud 9" and really showed us that it could have been easily any of us who fails. I really felt bad for him as he does not deserve to fail due to all his work (he started studying PRIOR to Easter break). We all wish him the best of luck and pass his resits!!!

On a more happier note, I just got home from a massive party - Drink Medsoc Dry. It was amazing. Who can complain about 50p drinks?! Started drinking at about 7:45pm and decided to leave at 10:30pm. We decided to head to a club to have some real fun and went to a great club. Great music and it was PACKED. There were so many people there! Eventually more medics showed up at the same club and it was a lot of fun. Definitely had a great night with friends and it was a good "goodbye" as I am leaving tomorrow so I won't see my friends again until September.

All in all, what an amazing first year of medicine. It is a great subject and one I definitely enjoy. Medicine has a reputation that it is hard/difficult and I have generally thought it was quite okay. After exams I realized how tough the subject can get and definitely do NOT underestimate the exams. They can literally ask ANYTHING. Learned loads this year - especially on how to study and work throughout the year so next year when it comes to exam time I won't be pulling super late nights and almost to the point of cramming.

2nd year of Medicine - Bring it on.

1 day til Results.

I didn't think I would be nervous about results as we have been assured that about 5% of the class would fail, but I AM STILL NERVOUS. It is really hard to say how I have done in the exam and I have no clue what sort of mark I'll be getting. Back in high school, after an exam, I usually have a sense of how I did and can ball-park the mark that I will be getting. This time, I seriously have no clue at all. I have a feeling that everyone will be scoring around the same mark and 1% can make or break you pretty much - scary stuff.

I also don't understand why I have to physically go to the medical school to see my results...why can't we get our marks online like most schools? For the home students it isn't that bad as they can always go home, but I am stuck in England for 2 weeks with nothing to do waiting for results to come out and I can't go home in between. I also don't like crowding around a little pane of glass trying to find your student number and along the way see other people's marks as well...quite nerve-racking but I guess it gives you a bit of competition as you can see how your classmates have done.

Wish me luck for tomorrow and hopefully I get the mark I am aiming for and PASS. I really put a lot of work into studying for the exams and will be extremely disappointed if I end up with a 3 (or fail). Not trying to be stuck up or anything - please don't get me wrong - but for the amount of effort I put into studying - I hope my work pays off and get me a 4.

Will update again when I get my mark and hopefully be a very happy medical student. :)

Reality.

Yes finally done exams!

If I had to summarize my medicals exams in one word it would be: Reality.

As a medical student we are all used to being top of the class and breezing through exams. It is quite rare to not know how to do something, but wow talk about crashing into the reality wall. I had 3 exams in 3 days: MEQ, Multi-Station, and EMQ. Overall the exams were challenging but it was do-able. It was a good reality check that there will be times where you won't know how to do something and you are going to have to overcome the feeling. First day was definitely tough. I went back to my room and I just felt really dumb and my confidence level was pit bottom. It was definitely hard to pick myself back up but I was pretty determined to make it up by doing well in multi-station and EMQ. All in all I tried my best in all 3 papers and hope I did enough to pass! Results release on June 10 so I guess I'll be camping out at the medical school. I'll probably be a nervous wreck though.

On a lighter note: summer holiday has officially begun! Right after exams I went out with friends and just make up for the last 6ish weeks of complete "hermiting". Then went for a night out with the rest of my medical year - great celebration. Today, I finally got the time to go and play some field hockey in pretty nice weather. Was a bit cold, but it was sunny out and I watched the sunset. Very relaxing. And then in 4 months it'll be the official start of 2nd year of medicine! I'm also planning on going to freshers events as they are so amazing. It is also a chance for me to go to parties with a group of people who I know and have a lot more fun. Also the perfect chance to meet new people and hopefully make some new friends! Looking forward to it.

Final Lap.

So exactly 2 more weeks left until my first exam.

Thoughts?
Eek.

Feelings?
Nervous.

But if I was not nervous/anxious about exams I might question my motivation to study medicine. Nervousness is what kicks you into the next gear. You work 10x harder for your exam as you know it is important and you care!

I've gotten through quite a bit of material since my last post. I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm on one of the last chapters for the year and will very soon be going over my notes briefly for a refresher prior to exams. We finally got our exact exam schedule and I'm a bit iffy about it. Not loving the fact that my first exam will be "Modified Essay Questions" - which is more like one word answer questions. I would much prefer to have the Extended Matching Questions first as it is multiple choice and I guess a better way to "ease" into the exam. Despite seeing a specimen paper already - I still don't know what to expect from the exam. I have questioned myself several times about the amount of detail I've been studying in. I feel that my method of studying is very clinical based so I know the pathology of diseases quite well. But when it comes to the fine details of cell interactions and stuff, I may be a little bit screwed? I really hope the exam won't be that detailed.

I'm pretty determined to do well in this exam as I have put a lot of work into studying. I have high expectations.

Hopefully all will go well and you'll be seeing a happy post instead of a long rant in the near future.