Close Call.

If you have read my previous post on exams...you would have noticed that this exam was very difficult and I was fairly convinced I had failed. From last day of exams to results...I had 7 days to ponder and scare myself/reassure myself. Easily the most anxious 7 days of my life. First day post exam - I swear I was brain dead. I couldn't do anything properly. At the same time - I was in a bit of a depressed state of mind. Also found it very difficult to sleep. Mind you, I'm not the type that worries about stuff. I literally am a happy-go-lucky/care-free person. I rarely worry about things.  Thank goodness I got to go to London for the weekend to watch a concert, which allowed me to get my mind off of exams and just to relax.

Results day - woke up at 8am...pretty much tossed around in bed for the next 4 hours as results aren't released until 2pm. Worst bit is that I have to go to the medical school to go see my results as for no reason the school does not post them online.

"Results are out...it ain't pretty." - the text message I received from my friend at 2:10pm. When I read the message, I felt my heart drop. As I got closer to the medical school, I could feel my heart racing. I then saw classmates standing outside the school. Some crying. Some cheering. Some looked in shock. I really didn't know what to expect. The short walk from the entrance to the notice board where our results are posted was probably the longest walk ever. Next comes the difficult bit. Finding your student number in a list of 280 other numbers. "Should I check the fail list first? Or just try to find my number in the pass list?" My gut went with looking through the pass list first. Thank goodness our numbers are in numerical order this year. Page after page....I finally found my number. I passed my exam! Then curiosity won me over and I took a look at the fail list. I was in shock. The phase director had failed 20% of the year (50+ students). Wow. She actually kept her word about it. I was disgusted by the number of students she had decided to fail. Ridiculous. As time passed, more of my friends came in to check their results as word had spread about results being out. One by one I saw students come through. Saw a couple people crying as they had failed their exams. Thinking about it - we were all top of the class students. Failure...is probably something we have never really experienced before, so for those who failed their medical exams it probably came as a shock. By the way - usually only 10-15 people fail their exams. In our last two years, my year had set the highest passing rate. The academic department was proud of our year. In 6 months, we went from the highest passing rate, to the highest failing rate. Obviously there is something wrong with the exam and not us.

Unfortunately a few of my close friends had failed their exams. I know a few people getting kicked out from the course from failing more than 3 times in the course. A couple of people had failed and had such a bad experience from these last 6 months, will be quitting medicine. It's really a shame that one phase director can put so many people off from medicine and possibly even change the future of so many students.  Lots of students had lost a lot of confidence because of these exams. These exams disgust me especially knowing the school had screwed up badly with these exams. Pass mark for our exams are usually at around 47-50%. This year our pass mark was around 40%. OBVIOUSLY something wrong with the exam if your pass mark is that low. I surely hope the school does something to resolve this as I think this is unacceptable. Yes I am angry at the school. Yes I am annoyed. Yes I know I passed, but knowing the pass mark was that low - I feel like I didn't pass my exam as it was not a fair exam and not a fair way to examine the knowledge I had gained in the last 6 months.

What I had experienced from these exams, I am a bit hesitant on even recommending the school to prospective students. It's really a shame how poorly this has been handled. Hopefully the school will regain my confidence in them in the new year.