End of GP Placement.

Oh how much I looked forward to typing the title to this post. It could have easily been the least brain stimulating placement I have yet to have. Not only that, I couldn't go make myself useful elsewhere unlike being in the hospital. Looking back on the last 6 weeks, it was definitely a struggle and a challenge. It was mentally draining as it was just so much harder to get the motivation to work. After throwing my arms in the air when stepping out the door of the practice...I realized I have another GP placement next year. Joy. BUT, I know it'll be more useful as I'll have my own surgery and get to see my own patients. This placement literally has redefined work experience. It was 20 days, 10 hours/day of work experience.

Also in other news - crisis averted with all the deadlines as you would remember from my "Walls Closing In" post.

1 report - completed and submitted.
1 audit report - completed awaiting for submission.
1 audit poster - 90% complete.
1 audit abstract - completed and awaiting for submission.

Cannot feel any more satisfied and proud of myself managing to get everything done in time. I think it has been a long time since I was really sure I was not going to make the deadlines.  Miracles do happen. Actually it's more like: Efficient...and very late and long nights...

Oddly enough, in my final week of GP placement, I saw the most interesting case. It was a case of a man with an end-stage disease and the GP needed to start the palliative care pathway with him. This man is quite young (40 years old). Initially when I heard about his medical history, I did not know how old is he. In my mind I imagined him to be an elderly man. Surprisingly when I went to go meet the patient, he looked frail and skinny, but young. What really struck me was that he also has two very young children (ages 8 and 3). Unfortunately, the patient has not really told his children what is wrong with him. They are aware that their father is ill, but do not know the extent of his illness. With his condition, no one really knows how many more years he will live. His condition has been progressively getting worse and the GP told the patient and his wife that there would be one day where he does a nose dive and his health severely deteriorates. We discussed the various options for support and care. In my mind I knew the GP was trying to find the right moment to bring up the "Do Not Attempt to Resuscitate" (DNAR). Eventually we had to talk about it and only until you come onto the topic you then come to realize that the patient is still in denial. To be fair, he has a young family and he himself is quite young. Worst bit is that there is no cause for his condition - as what doctors like to call it: "Idiopathic". He was adamant that he wants to be resuscitated when it comes to the end of the line despite the GP fully informing him about the benefits and harm of resuscitation. As we were talking about his palliative care plan, his children were happily running outside - no clue what is going on in the room. It was definitely a very "grim" consultation. Before leaving, the GP advised the patient to find some support for his end-stage disease and to have someone help him to explain his condition to his children as they will have to know at some point. The GP was right that it is better for him to talk to his children while he is still well and still able to versus down the road he might not be well enough to explain - leaving his children a bit puzzled.

In all fairness - my experience in GP has not been the best, but the GPs who I have worked with are all really nice people and some are great at teaching. Guess it just wasn't my "cup of tea". Had a good feedback session with my supervisor though and I suggested giving students a bit more responsibilities and letting us see our own patients. Hopefully they'll take my feedback on board as I really think it'll improve the student's experience. All in all though, 7 weeks...that was painful.

Psychiatry up next...don't really know what to expect...actually I have no clue what to expect. At least it is hospital based (in a more familiar environment). I'm sure it'll be interesting seeing these sort of patients. Hopefully it'll be better than my GP placement and get back to the happy-go-lucky medical student.

The End of Another Placement.

Seriously cannot believe it has been 6 weeks. It literally blew by. I didn't think it would as I wasn't particularly busy and I had quite a few day offs as well (bank holidays, etc). My friends said that you cannot find a happier medical student on placement than me. I will admit, the placement started off quite slow...but once it got going...I truly truly truly did not want it to end. It's the first specialty where I could see myself work in as a career. Before starting, I was a bit hesitant as ever since I knew I wanted to do medicine, I wanted to do orthopaedics. I had very high hopes for it. Obviously I was very excited to start the placement, but there was a bit of doubt in the back of my mind. These 6 weeks could either make or break this specialty for me. I was actually scared that I will end up not liking orthopaedics...and actually hating it.

Luckily, orthopaedic surgery is just like how I imagined it to be. I was genuinely happy. It's the first placement where I enjoyed everything about the specialty. I enjoyed the surgeries. I enjoyed being on the ward (which was minimal to be fair). And I can't believe I am saying this but I enjoyed clinic. Everything clicked for me. I never struggled waking up to go to this placement. I had 8am meetings to go to (where I had to wake up at 6am) and I never struggled. If this was any other specialty and was told to go to an 8am meeting...I can guarantee you I would struggle and would probably turn up late or maybe even miss it. I was actually motivated to work hard in this placement. I didn't work hard because my supervisor was strict/I was scared of him...I actually worked hard because I enjoyed the specialty. I felt no pressure to work hard...actually my supervisor kept telling me to take it easy and made it very free. It was all down to me. There were times where I wished I was in more.

This was probably the most flexible and easy going placement I have had this year, but this is easily the one placement where I have learned the most. I had lots of fun, but also learned a lot of useful things. I am so lucky to have a supervisor who is really good with teaching and letting me progress. You all probably remember me having great praises for my last O&G placement and that it has set a very high bar. This orthopaedic placement just blew through that bar. I mean I knew it was going to be hard to have more fun and more responsibilities than my last placement, but wow this placement was fantastic. I have nothing but good things to say. I got to scrub in. I assisted in surgery. I learned how to suture and help close up. I saw patients in clinic on my own and got to examine them. I got to start and finish an audit project. I really could not ask for more. I don't even think I could do much more.

Today started out like any other day. Early meeting and then to morning clinic. Usual banter in the meeting...lots of good laughs and teasing. I took up my usual spot at the back of the room against the cabinet. Then off to clinic. Busy clinic as usual. Saw new patients on my own. Did the usual. I'm sure no one knew it was my last day because everything was going like it was just another day of my placement. Patient by patient...the note pile got smaller and smaller. Clinic was coming to an end. Next thing I knew my supervisor was signing my feedback form off. Had a bit of a chat about the placement and then a solid handshake. To be honest it was tough to leave. I wasn't sick of the placement yet. Just wasn't ready for it to end already. Every day when we finish and before I leave, I always crack a: "When am I seeing you next?" It was weird not to say that as I was heading for the door. I didn't even know what to say as I left. I think all I kept saying was "thank you" as I dragged my feet out the door. Even now...I'm absolutely gutted this placement is over. Feels like someone shot me out from cloud 9. Next week is going to be tough. Back to lectures. Back to reality. Then on to GP and being cooped up in a clinic from 9-5. No surgeries. Not in a hospital environment. Going to be out of my element. Hurts just to think about it. Should be a crime to enjoy a placement so much.  Genuinely loved this placement. Entered placement as one of the happiest medical student you can find to probably the most gutted one at the moment. What a contrast. Just shows you how much I enjoyed this placement.

Expectations.

Everyone has his or her own expectations for certain things. In my case: I had my own expectations for this placement (Obs & Gynae). Before I even started this new year and embarked on my specialty placements, I had already made up my mind about some of the specialties. And I have once again been proven wrong and again shouldn't be making judgments before even starting a specialty. You would think I would learn by now not to judge so early. Before I started O&G I constantly told myself that it is going to be my worst placement ever and I will truly hate it. I was not looking forward to it. I even marked it on my calendar as: "Ugh." To make things short, I had extremely low expectations for O&G. And you know what, sometimes I like being proven wrong. Don't get me wrong I have respect for the specialty, it just never clicked with me. You get this whole: "Awkwardddd women's health...it's going to be weeeirdddd!". I think in general anything that deals with bits downstairs is a whole taboo subject.

So I went back to my archives and read up on my blog post that I typed up before starting the specialty:

"My next placement is Obstetric and Gynaecology. I'm actually really scared for this as I don't really know what to expect as well. Should be interesting as I'll definitely be able to go to theatre (YES!); however, it'll be dealing with quite a sensitive subject so I'll definitely need to change from being playful in Paeds to professional for this specialty. Hopefully I'll be able to compose myself and try to enjoy this specialty as much as I can. First I'll need to go to a week of lectures before commencing my placement. I much rather having lectures first before going to placement as at least I'll have some basic knowledge prior to going to the hospital so I won't look like an idiot in front of the doctors. I also hope I'll have a really nice/easy going/chill supervisor. My last supervisor on paediatrics was very easy-going, which made the placement much more enjoyable. Crossing my fingers that I'll be just as lucky this time with Obs+Gyn. Another 7 weeks of Obs+Gyn and then Easter Holiday! I can't wait for holiday. To be honest...I kinda need one now!"

I really can't blame myself for being scared as it is a sensitive subject, but in terms of changing my behaviour from playful to professional was something I was a bit unsure about as I'm naturally a "happy-go-lucky" so I was a bit nervous for that change. Thinking back through the last few weeks, I haven't had so much fun on placement. Even more fun than my paediatric placement. Yes I have to be professional and build a good rapport with patients to talk about more sensitive things, but I realized that if I'm having a good time, the rapport comes naturally and you as a person become a bit more easier to approach and get along with. In paeds I was told that it was "written all over me" that I was not enjoying my placement. For this placement, yes I went in knowing I'll hate it, but I really wanted to make sure that I didn't make it obvious that I'm not enjoying the attachment. Because I went in with such low expectations I was open for anything and had little expectations. This actually helped me be a bit more welcome to anything and I think a lot of the staff and my supervisor could see that. I was even told by the nurses that some of the patients thought I was a "breath of fresh air" as I was always smiling on the wards and just enjoying my time. A patient told me that most of the staff look bored, but I look interested and just trying to have fun. Because in my last placement in paeds I looked super bored, it was probably the main reason it took me a bit longer to get to know the staff and interact with the patients.

And I can't really call it luck anymore with getting a nice/easy going/chill supervisor. I've said it before, but at the end of the day, a consultant/supervisor is a person as well. Yes they too have expectations for me and I try to meet their expectations, but because they are also people, you can certainly have some good banter with them. I got to know my supervisor and probably saw my supervisor the most out of the rest of my group so I guess he got to know me better than the others. Definitely made the attachment more enjoyable as I could feel that my supervisor genuinely cared about my learning and it's also nice to get to know your supervisor as it'll keep my blood pressure and heart rate from shooting through the roof whenever I see him. In some placements I would purposely avoid my supervisor just to avoid getting told off/being quizzed. For this placement, I didn't mind bumping into my supervisor on the ward or even in the corridors. I think we also had a "mutual understanding". He knew what my personality is like and what sort of student I am so he didn't form unrealistic expectations for me so that put me at ease and allowed me to feel comfortable in the hospital.  Again it is a two-way process. I know when my supervisor didn't want to see me and I guess I'm fairly good at telling when I can be cracking jokes. I guess it is a skill I definitely cherish as like I said I'm a "happy-go-lucky" and a bit of a prankster/joker who is quite cheeky as well...so I definitely need to know where to draw my line with each person.

All in all, I think this attachment has worked out really well and essentially exceeded my expectations. I have definitely gained a heck lot more respect for the specialty and it has definitely changed my view on the specialty. It really ain't that bad at the end of the day. The doctors are also pretty cool people as well so it was good. The hospital was great as well and was really good at making sure medical students are learning and interacting. Following a doctor around is one thing, but being able to assist and do things is a whole other ball game that makes your attachment so much better. This could be the very last time I'll be doing O&G for the rest of my career, but hey if I do get a rotation in it in the future, I won't mind doing it again. Hate to say this, but this is easily the best placement I have ever had so far. Who would've thought I would be saying this 7 weeks later. I wish all my placements can be this good. Now I'm scared about my future attachments as this placement has set the bar so high. How can I go back to just following a doctor around? How can I go back to standing in theatre not scrubbed in and peering over the surgeon's shoulder? Will I get along with my next supervisor how I got along with my supervisor now? What are my expectations for my next placements now?

Thank you for proving me wrong and giving me the best 7 weeks of my medical degree. What a placement. Damn. Can't believe it is over. The one time I am dreading for the end of a placement. I guess one good thing about this is that I finally get a much needed 3 week holiday.

Side note: Will be on holiday for the next 3 weeks and I, most likely, will not be posting as I really need a break. Sorry! 

O&G - Done!

One of the most stressful days ever. Let's just say this placement never really got my heart rate and blood pressure up until today (my last day). Waited to do my final assessment with my supervisor and I was really stressed out. Hate waiting around. You see if this was one day earlier, I would not be as stressed out. I was a bit of a smart ass and booked to leave for home 1 day before official holiday. Seriously talk about luck. Supervisor couldn't do my assessment until my final day...5 hours before the departure of my train to go to the airport. Essentially, we are allowed to resit our assessment if our supervisor believe we are incompetent. You would usually resit the assessment immediately or the week after, BUT because we are doing our assessment in the final week  on my last day of placement, I don't really get another go. So that means I have ONE shot at this assessment. I pass...I pass. I fail...let's just say that is NOT an option. I essentially needed a bit of skill (to pass the assessment) and a heck lot of luck to not only pass my assessment, but to also catch my train. Doing an assessment is already stressful enough especially when you've got only 1 shot at it. Travelling is also another very stressful thing. Put the two together (assessment AND travelling) is the formula for a heart attack. Yes why should I be worrying about my assessment? I worked hard. I came in every day. Didn't skive. Studied...a bit. Practiced my examination skills quite a bit. So why am I not confident? Simple. Anything can happen eg. bad luck such as getting a difficult patient, blanking out aka brain fart, nerves, etc. I think I'm pretty chill with my supervisor and I don't really "fear" him that much, BUT at the end of the day yes he is a person...but he is also my SUPERVISOR, which I cannot forget. He essentially is the one who determines whether I pass or fail this placement. Kind of hard not to be a bit scared/nervous/stressed/intimidated.

Anyways luckily I passed my assessment and it all went very well. Got all my forms signed off, handed in my locker keys, and next thing I knew, I was saying my goodbyes to the staff and shaking hands with my supervisor: "I guess that's it. 7 weeks. Done. I really enjoyed the placement. Thank you. Maybe we will meet again in the future, maybe not. It was a pleasure to meet you and your team. Thanks again." It was probably the first genuine "thank you" I have said to a supervisor at the end of a placement. These last 7 weeks have opened my eyes and taught me not to judge. I have never done so much active learning in one placement. Best bit: I wanted to learn. I wasn't forced. What a great overall placement. I guess the only way to show your gratitude towards a placement is to work hard and show that you have learned. Actions certainly do speak louder than words. Even my good friend said that if only my supervisor saw what type of student I was on placements and how much I have changed in terms of motivation and work ethic - only then it is obvious how much I enjoyed this placement.

What a placement. Who would've thought.

End of Paediatrics.

7 weeks have passed which means I am done with my paediatrics placement! To be honest, it actually went by really fast. I got to admit that the first few weeks went by really slowly...to the point I was dreading the placement. Luckily, the placement started to blow by as I got to know the doctors and nurses on the ward and in general felt more welcomed.  I think 7 weeks was plenty of time for a taster of the specialty so my impression of paediatrics? Not for me. But I won't 100% remove it from my potential list of specialties as I find the surgical side of paediatrics fairly interesting. On my last day of paeds I had a lecture about paediatric orthopaedics, and to be fair...it seems quite interesting. These surgeons see a lot of different conditions ranging from pathological to congenital conditions. Definitely something I wouldn't mind considering in the future.

Also another reason to celebrate about the end of the placement is that I have passed my placement based assessment!!! I was really nervous for it, but it went really well. Did a full patient history on a boy with pneumonia and did a cardiovascular and respiratory examination on him.  I also got a lot of feedback from my supervisor, which was good as I'm constantly trying to improve and do better. I also managed to finish all my essays and reflective writing all in time along with my log book! Really stressful weekend, but everything came together in the end. I was really chuffed with it and after Monday (where everything was due including my assessment), I felt like the world was off my shoulders. I felt so much more at ease and just felt a sense of relaxation. I can finally enjoy the placement again and just take it easy for the last few days on my placement. On top of that, end of paediatrics = end of driving a long way to placement. My next placement is only a 15 minute drive (which is closer than the central hospital from where I live), so I'm excited for that. I no longer have to wake up at a ridiculous time to drive. I've also heard fantastic reviews about the next hospital I will be going to as they like to pride themselves in teaching medical students.

My next placement is Obstetric and Gynaecology. I'm actually really scared for this as I don't really know what to expect as well. Should be interesting as I'll definitely be able to go to theatre (YES!); however, it'll be dealing with quite a sensitive subject so I'll definitely need to change from being playful in Paeds to professional for this specialty. Hopefully I'll be able to compose myself and try to enjoy this specialty as much as I can. First I'll need to go to a week of lectures before commencing my placement. I much rather having lectures first before going to placement as at least I'll have some basic knowledge prior to going to the hospital so I won't look like an idiot in front of the doctors. I also hope I'll have a really nice/easy going/chill supervisor. My last supervisor on paediatrics was very easy-going, which made the placement much more enjoyable. Crossing my fingers that I'll be just as lucky this time with Obs+Gyn. Another 7 weeks of Obs+Gyn and then Easter Holiday! I can't wait for holiday. To be honest...I kinda need one now!