My Audit Project: Start to Finish.

May 2012 - I started on my first audit project which was in Orthopaedics. I technically started planning this audit project with my supervisor back in January 2012. When we first discussed this project, the project was just intended to be a good learning experience for me and I pretty much saw it as something to keep me occupied during my Orthopaedics placement. I don't think any of us really thought of going far with this project. It was essentially a "we'll see how it goes" kind of thing. Admittedly, I didn't take the project that seriously either. I spent maybe an hour here and there in medical records. Our sample group size wasn't very big either so I wasn't exactly pressured to spend hours and hours to collect all the data. To be fair the audit project took about 3 weeks to complete (as in gather all the data, come up with numbers, and type up a rough report to hand in). As you can probably see now, I didn't take it very seriously. As I started getting results and numbers from the audit, my supervisor began encouraging me to think about submitting it to national/international conferences as he believes people might be interested in our results. I remember actually laughing off what he said and told myself: "That'll be the day!". Eventually he started to sound a lot more serious about it and continuously encouraged me to submit an abstract to conferences.

Because I had typed up a report (albeit quite roughly), I at least have a base for an abstract. An abstract is essentially a 250-300 word summary of your project. It would include an introduction, aim, methods, results, and a conclusion. I took a sentence or two from each of my sections in my report and put them together and there we go: I've got my 250-300 word abstract ready for submission. I submitted an abstract to 1 national and 1 international conference. As I submitted it, I still told myself: "Why would anyone want to select MY project? It'll be a joke." 3 months after submitting my abstract, I heard back from the conferences. I was accepted to do a poster presentation at a pretty "prestigious" (apparently) national conference. I couldn't believe it. I was over the moon. I mean I never expected to get anything from this project. Like I earlier said, it was a bit of a "keep me busy" project that I didn't take seriously. You can imagine I wasn't very confident about it and really truly didn't think I'll get anything from it. I even told my supervisor in the unlikely event of me getting anything out of this project, it will be a massive bonus. I heard back about the national presentation in December 2012 and in about 2 months I had to churn out a poster. Where do I even start?!

I have never done a poster before. I mean I presented my project a few months earlier at a local audit meeting so I had a powerpoint presentation of my poster, but not an actual POSTER. I asked around and was given a template. To be honest, I was still very lost. Because it was my holiday when I had to work on my poster, I pretty much sat myself down in front of my computer and spent the whole day making the poster. I used powerpoint to make the poster and after many hours of continuous work, I had my first draft for my poster. I remember sitting back and looking at my computer screen with a large grin. I can finally see my project "come to life". All that work, I can finally see it. After many drafts and sending my drafts to my supervisor, I believe I had my final draft. 2 weeks before my conference, I made some last minute changes to the images and minor adjustments and sent it for printing.

"Your poster is ready to pick up." - the graphics team had called. It was my day off and I quickly rushed out to go see my poster. When I saw the poster I just could not believe it. My work in true physical form. I obviously took a minute to be a bit of a narcissist and admire my work. I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and joy. Just looking back at the long journey, I just could not believe it.

Then it was time to go to the 3 day conference. Poster rolled up and secured in a tube. No one has seen it other than me so my supervisor and other surgeons who helped haven't seen it. We all met up and went to the venue to register and put up the poster. Just walking into the venue and seeing everyone there (250+ people) and 95% of them were Registrars or Consultants in Orthopaedics, it was actually quite intimidating. It didn't help that I looked BY FAR the youngest in the meeting and 1 of the handful of women there as obviously Orthopaedics is quite male dominated. When I took the poster out to put up, while my supervisor and other doctors stood around, it was nice to see my name as the first author and the title of my project standing out among the other posters in the hall. I got a pat on the back and was congratulated. It has finally happened. My first national poster presentation. Throughout the day I was introduced to many consultants from around England and met some pretty famous ones who I have only heard about. It was such a great and new experience. When it was finally time to leave, I left my poster with my supervisor.

A few days ago I received an email from admin in Orthopaedics saying that I should go visit the Orthopaedics Department. I kind of dismissed it and didn't pop around until yesterday. As I walked down the hall in the department, there it was - my poster. It was displayed up on the wall, which registrars and consultants like to call: "The Hall of Fame". I stopped in front of my poster to be a bit of a narcissist again and admire my work.  

What this project has taught me is that if you work hard, "the sky's the limit". The opportunities are infinite - you just need to go look for it and grasp onto it when it passes by.

So what's next for me? Because my project was a lot more successful than we all thought, I am now hoping to submit a more polished report for publication. I mean these projects are quite fun, and a good experience so I am in the midst of planning with another consultant to do another project with a much larger sample group and on a different topic. After going to the conference, I am very motivated to keep doing projects and working hard. Who knows where my projects will take me next? America? Canada? Asia?

"The sky's the limit."

A Memorable Year.

1 year ago today, I was thankful and nervous at the same time. Last year's exam was probably the largest hurdle of my degree. I didn't do as well as I had hoped in my exam, but still managed to pass. I was incredibly thankful to be able to pass as many of my friends had failed the exam. Some of which had to repeat the year. I made a promise to myself that the year 2012 will be my comeback year. I was determined to start on the right foot and to never make the same mistakes again.

This year zoomed by. I believe I made leaps and bounds in terms of knowledge and self-confidence whilst on the wards and in clinics. I still got to give lots of credit to my placement in Orthopaedics. I cannot be more thankful to my supervisor. Even my friends have noticed that after my Orthopaedics placement, I was a different medical student. I was no longer afraid to speak up. I was no longer afraid to participate and be proactive. I realized that if you don't ask, you will never know what will happen. The worst answer you can get when asking something is "No". What is there to lose...other than a hurt ego. So one tip for all of you is to be confident. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Again, the worst someone can say is "No". If the answer is "no", just shrug and move on and don't take it personally.

As you move through the degree, Medicine slowly dominates your life and you really got to make an effort to have a social life. As the months pass and you have some free time to reflect, you realize your friends start to drift away and it may get a bit lonely at times. Medicine needs a lot of dedication, but I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to relax and take some time out. Giving yourself a break does not necessarily mean you have to go take a vacation. Taking a break is different for everyone. It may involve going to do something you enjoy or meeting up with friends, or even just spending some time at home to relax and watch TV.  I didn't realize how important it is to take a break until this year when I have finally experienced a whole year of clinical placements, one after another. Work - Life balance. I know many people in my year who are taking a year out to do a BMedSci next year, not because they want to do research, but because they have burnt out.

To top off my memorable year, just earlier today I received confirmation that I have been accepted to present a my research poster at a national conference. Really unexpected as it's quite competitive, so I'm absolutely chuffed. What a way to finish up the year!

In general, I have made many new friends, matured as a person, and gained valuable skills for the future - I think this has probably been one of my most memorable year of my medical degree. Despite the many ups and downs throughout the year, looking back - overall it has been a very good year.

Got to thank those who have made my year so memorable and those who made my experiences so much better. Cheers to 2012, bring on 2013!

Happy New Year!

End of GP Placement.

Oh how much I looked forward to typing the title to this post. It could have easily been the least brain stimulating placement I have yet to have. Not only that, I couldn't go make myself useful elsewhere unlike being in the hospital. Looking back on the last 6 weeks, it was definitely a struggle and a challenge. It was mentally draining as it was just so much harder to get the motivation to work. After throwing my arms in the air when stepping out the door of the practice...I realized I have another GP placement next year. Joy. BUT, I know it'll be more useful as I'll have my own surgery and get to see my own patients. This placement literally has redefined work experience. It was 20 days, 10 hours/day of work experience.

Also in other news - crisis averted with all the deadlines as you would remember from my "Walls Closing In" post.

1 report - completed and submitted.
1 audit report - completed awaiting for submission.
1 audit poster - 90% complete.
1 audit abstract - completed and awaiting for submission.

Cannot feel any more satisfied and proud of myself managing to get everything done in time. I think it has been a long time since I was really sure I was not going to make the deadlines.  Miracles do happen. Actually it's more like: Efficient...and very late and long nights...

Oddly enough, in my final week of GP placement, I saw the most interesting case. It was a case of a man with an end-stage disease and the GP needed to start the palliative care pathway with him. This man is quite young (40 years old). Initially when I heard about his medical history, I did not know how old is he. In my mind I imagined him to be an elderly man. Surprisingly when I went to go meet the patient, he looked frail and skinny, but young. What really struck me was that he also has two very young children (ages 8 and 3). Unfortunately, the patient has not really told his children what is wrong with him. They are aware that their father is ill, but do not know the extent of his illness. With his condition, no one really knows how many more years he will live. His condition has been progressively getting worse and the GP told the patient and his wife that there would be one day where he does a nose dive and his health severely deteriorates. We discussed the various options for support and care. In my mind I knew the GP was trying to find the right moment to bring up the "Do Not Attempt to Resuscitate" (DNAR). Eventually we had to talk about it and only until you come onto the topic you then come to realize that the patient is still in denial. To be fair, he has a young family and he himself is quite young. Worst bit is that there is no cause for his condition - as what doctors like to call it: "Idiopathic". He was adamant that he wants to be resuscitated when it comes to the end of the line despite the GP fully informing him about the benefits and harm of resuscitation. As we were talking about his palliative care plan, his children were happily running outside - no clue what is going on in the room. It was definitely a very "grim" consultation. Before leaving, the GP advised the patient to find some support for his end-stage disease and to have someone help him to explain his condition to his children as they will have to know at some point. The GP was right that it is better for him to talk to his children while he is still well and still able to versus down the road he might not be well enough to explain - leaving his children a bit puzzled.

In all fairness - my experience in GP has not been the best, but the GPs who I have worked with are all really nice people and some are great at teaching. Guess it just wasn't my "cup of tea". Had a good feedback session with my supervisor though and I suggested giving students a bit more responsibilities and letting us see our own patients. Hopefully they'll take my feedback on board as I really think it'll improve the student's experience. All in all though, 7 weeks...that was painful.

Psychiatry up next...don't really know what to expect...actually I have no clue what to expect. At least it is hospital based (in a more familiar environment). I'm sure it'll be interesting seeing these sort of patients. Hopefully it'll be better than my GP placement and get back to the happy-go-lucky medical student.

Ward Etiquette.

My last post was for non-medical students so here is one for medical students. Going onto the wards is quite an exciting thing if it is your first time, but there are a few "unwritten" rules that medical students should know about. Either you learn about em by hearing it from an upper year...or learn by experience (eg. being told off by a nurse). So I'll save some of you from any embarrassment/telling off by doing a quick post on ward etiquette.

Hopefully your medical school will make the hospital aware that you'll be coming to their department for your clinical attachment, BUT there will times where the ward/hospital will not be expecting you. First rule is to turn up to your placement ON TIME - even better: show up a bit earlier. Nothing more frustrating than expecting a student and them either not showing up or showing up late. It is important to leave a good impression. Nurses are quite good at passing on feedback to doctors/consultants. Last thing you want to be known is as a disrespectful student. These nurses can actually make your life very difficult.

Next must-do is to dress appropriately. You guys probably won't believe me but I have had colleagues who show up to placement in a hoodie. Yes it is cold outside, but before showing up on the ward where all the patients are...take off your hoodie and look presentable before you go into the ward/hospital. Some of the staff/patients won't know you have just arrived and no one wants to be seen by a poorly dressed student. I'm pretty sure if you were a patient, you wouldn't want to see a doctor who is in a hoodie/not looking presentable. I've also had friends who have been told to get off the ward because their shirts were not ironed. For girls, heard of female medical students getting kicked off the wards for showing too much cleavage and for short skirts. General rule is that if you bend over you shouldn't be able to see anything in the mirror. Skirts should be below the knees. I save myself from the hassle and wear trousers instead of skirts...plus it isn't very glorious when you're in a skirt and you have to help move a patient or lift things (which I do a lot of as I feel bad watching nurses struggle).

I will always remember this key point: "You will never get kicked out of medical school for not showing up to one day of placement, BUT you can get kicked out for showing up to placement hungover/drunk". If you had a night-out the day before and you're hungover/still drunk...take a sick day. The quote just stated...says it all.

Nothing frustrates me more than seeing my colleagues disrespect the staff. I'm usually quite a modest student, but I like to think I am quite successful with getting along with staff/consultants. My friends always ask me how I become so friendly with consultants/why doctors/staff treat me like a friend. Simple: Respect them first. It is quite annoying to see some students being very arrogant. I was on a placement with another student and he thinks he is the best thing to have graced the hospital. When a consultant asks him to get something...he goes and tells the nurse to get it for him. He treats the nurses like slaves and at the end of the day - you are just a medical student. I have stated it in many many posts that we are probably the LEAST important thing in the entire hospital. I have had a professor talk to us about "knowing our place in the hospital". You cannot go wrong by assuming that you are less important than the janitor. And ever since that day - I go onto the wards and respect every single member of staff. Nurses are your saving grace. If they like you - they will make your life so much easier. Best bit is that they sometimes remind you of things and bail you out if a consultant is being a bit "uncooperative/unfriendly". A way to show your respect to the nurses? Everyone loves a cup of tea. I have lost count the number of teas I have made for the nurses. In my last Obs and Gynae placement...I made 2 pots of tea for all the midwives every 2 hours. They made my life so easy and they passed on very good feedback to my supervisor as well.

When talking to patients - first ask the nurses if the patient is a good patient to talk to. Always introduce yourself before going to talk to the patient. Put yourself on the same level as the patient so go get a visitor chair and sit down. Don't sit on the patient's bed. When asking for the name of the patient always ask them how would they like to be addressed. Some of the more elderly patients usually would like to be addressed as Mr/Mrs, etc. Smile when you talk to the patient and just act professionally. When you leave - make sure you take your chair with you and put things back where you found them. I personally like to ask the patient if there's anything they would like me to get/do for them. It's the little things that makes a difference. Usually their tables are too far away or they need something to drink. If they want something to drink, make sure you ask a nurse first before fetching something just in case.

Finally - the most daunting bit: interacting with the consultant. Some like to make your life very difficult. I like to think it is because the consultant didn't want students and was forced to have them...or he/she is overly bored. My good friend said dealing with consultants is a skill on its own. I like to give myself 2 weeks to get a feel of what the consultant is like. Is he/she friendly? Is he/she talkative? Is he/she interested in teaching? One way to put yourself in the good books of a consultant is obviously the things I have listed above and just smile and be relaxed. Don't be arrogant. And DO NOT correct a consultant...no matter how tempting it is...it is a bad idea to correct a person who has been in the job for 20+ years. It is fairly embarrassing to get corrected by a student. Unless the care of the patient is at risk - I usually keep my mouth shut. If there is really any discrepancy - go look it up on the internet/textbook or ask the registrar/SHO. At the end of the day - the consultant is still a person. It's like dealing with teachers back at school. Yes they teach...but they still have a life. No one wants to talk about medicine 24/7. If you manage to figure out that the consultant is fairly relaxed - chat about regular stuff. People always find it amazing that 90% of my conversations with consultants are random banter. Make yourself enjoyable to be around. Put yourself in their shoes. Be considerate.

Anyways basic ward etiquette. Seems like common sense - but you will be surprised how many students forget about these basic things. Assume you are back in school and the medical staff are your teachers. Address them properly. Address the consultant by their last name unless they make it known that they want to be known by their first name. I have yet to call any of my consultants/supervisor by their first name. I tend to address registrars by their first name as that's how they introduce themselves to me. Can't go wrong by being polite and respectful. It is a pain but I think it is fair.

The End of Another Placement.

Seriously cannot believe it has been 6 weeks. It literally blew by. I didn't think it would as I wasn't particularly busy and I had quite a few day offs as well (bank holidays, etc). My friends said that you cannot find a happier medical student on placement than me. I will admit, the placement started off quite slow...but once it got going...I truly truly truly did not want it to end. It's the first specialty where I could see myself work in as a career. Before starting, I was a bit hesitant as ever since I knew I wanted to do medicine, I wanted to do orthopaedics. I had very high hopes for it. Obviously I was very excited to start the placement, but there was a bit of doubt in the back of my mind. These 6 weeks could either make or break this specialty for me. I was actually scared that I will end up not liking orthopaedics...and actually hating it.

Luckily, orthopaedic surgery is just like how I imagined it to be. I was genuinely happy. It's the first placement where I enjoyed everything about the specialty. I enjoyed the surgeries. I enjoyed being on the ward (which was minimal to be fair). And I can't believe I am saying this but I enjoyed clinic. Everything clicked for me. I never struggled waking up to go to this placement. I had 8am meetings to go to (where I had to wake up at 6am) and I never struggled. If this was any other specialty and was told to go to an 8am meeting...I can guarantee you I would struggle and would probably turn up late or maybe even miss it. I was actually motivated to work hard in this placement. I didn't work hard because my supervisor was strict/I was scared of him...I actually worked hard because I enjoyed the specialty. I felt no pressure to work hard...actually my supervisor kept telling me to take it easy and made it very free. It was all down to me. There were times where I wished I was in more.

This was probably the most flexible and easy going placement I have had this year, but this is easily the one placement where I have learned the most. I had lots of fun, but also learned a lot of useful things. I am so lucky to have a supervisor who is really good with teaching and letting me progress. You all probably remember me having great praises for my last O&G placement and that it has set a very high bar. This orthopaedic placement just blew through that bar. I mean I knew it was going to be hard to have more fun and more responsibilities than my last placement, but wow this placement was fantastic. I have nothing but good things to say. I got to scrub in. I assisted in surgery. I learned how to suture and help close up. I saw patients in clinic on my own and got to examine them. I got to start and finish an audit project. I really could not ask for more. I don't even think I could do much more.

Today started out like any other day. Early meeting and then to morning clinic. Usual banter in the meeting...lots of good laughs and teasing. I took up my usual spot at the back of the room against the cabinet. Then off to clinic. Busy clinic as usual. Saw new patients on my own. Did the usual. I'm sure no one knew it was my last day because everything was going like it was just another day of my placement. Patient by patient...the note pile got smaller and smaller. Clinic was coming to an end. Next thing I knew my supervisor was signing my feedback form off. Had a bit of a chat about the placement and then a solid handshake. To be honest it was tough to leave. I wasn't sick of the placement yet. Just wasn't ready for it to end already. Every day when we finish and before I leave, I always crack a: "When am I seeing you next?" It was weird not to say that as I was heading for the door. I didn't even know what to say as I left. I think all I kept saying was "thank you" as I dragged my feet out the door. Even now...I'm absolutely gutted this placement is over. Feels like someone shot me out from cloud 9. Next week is going to be tough. Back to lectures. Back to reality. Then on to GP and being cooped up in a clinic from 9-5. No surgeries. Not in a hospital environment. Going to be out of my element. Hurts just to think about it. Should be a crime to enjoy a placement so much.  Genuinely loved this placement. Entered placement as one of the happiest medical student you can find to probably the most gutted one at the moment. What a contrast. Just shows you how much I enjoyed this placement.

Post #100 - A Look Back.

Post #100 for this blog. I obviously want to make a special post and let's take a trip back to the beginning of this blog.

August 6, 2009 - my first blog post. It was a big day for me as it was the day I received an unconditional offer from my university to study Medicine in the UK. Looking back, coming to study in the UK was a huge decision and definitely a path of a lot of unknowns. A new country. A new culture. A new chapter. Little did I know what a roller coaster ride it would be for the next 2.5 years. I faced many challenges (and still facing challenges) and have grown up a lot in the last 2.5 years. University was a new chapter to my life. Saw and learned so many new things. It has so far been the best few years of my life. I can easily say that Freshers week will always be a highlight as it was quite an experience getting to know so many new people in such a short amount of time. I've been in the same school for half my life so making new friends is something "new" and I was extremely nervous. Kind of laughing at myself now for being so nervous/scared as there was nothing to be scared about. Every one is on the same boat in terms of friends and people are just so friendly. A tip for those who will be starting this coming September: be EXCITED. There is nothing to be afraid of and don't let anything hold you back. Enjoy your time as a Fresher as it will blow by in a blink of an eye. 

When I first started this blog I was really unsure whether I will even be able to keep up with it. Slowly I've noticed that people are reading it and it really motivated me to keep posting. Whilst scrolling through my archives...I have noticed quite a change in frequency of posts. I think it's a fairly good representation of excitement through my years in medical school. Obviously if there is something exciting, I would post about it. Here's reality: the first 2 years of medical school is a bit of a shock. I think a lot of us come into medical school thinking like we would be like the TV show ER...or House and we would be immersed in doing clinical procedures and running around. WRONG. Well in my case I was stuck in a lecture theatre for 2 years learning about the basic sciences, which isn't the most exciting thing. It is obvious there were a lot of up and downs in the last 2 years. I lost sight of the final prize (becoming a doctor) several times throughout the last 2 years. You get to a certain point where you're like "get me on the wards!" and then there will be times where you ask yourself: "Why in the world am I studying Medicine?" Medical school is full of obstacles and it is emotionally, mentally, and physically tough. There are so many times where you're on the floor and you really need to dig deep to pick yourself back up. I realized this is a degree that you have to be committed to because there are times where you truly do question your desires of being a doctor. Then at last - I reached clinical years. 2 grueling years of being cooped up in a lecture theatre and finally I am able to do some practical things and talk to patients. But hold up...with my school we are quite lucky to have a bit of clinical experience in the first 2 years.

March 15, 2010 - first hospital attachment. It was a short clinical attachment and really just a taste test of what I'll be doing in the future. Only a few months ago I saw first year medical students starting with their first clinical attachment like I did back in 2010. Seeing these freshers really put things into perspective of how far you have come along. (And for once it was nice not being at the bottom of the ladder at the hospital). It really gave me a flashback to what it was like when I started my first clinical attachment. Patient histories were a struggle...I was not good at them at all. Hardly knew any medical sciences so I didn't really understand anything and tried my best to keep up. Couldn't do any clinical skills. Essentially just shadowed the doctors and tried to not get in the way. Went to observe a few surgeries and standing on a pedestal trying to peer over the consultant's shoulder. However, I do remember how much I enjoyed watching surgeries. It just clicked. Fast forward to 2012. Patient histories - easy. Interacting with patients - easy. Medical knowledge - growing every day. Clinical skills - taking bloods, inserting cannulas, inserting catheters...just the other day I put in an endotracheal tube on my own (supervised by the anaesthetist). Surgery - observe? Heck I'm scrubbing in now and even helping close up at the end! Medical school is a long and painful process...but when you take the time to stop and think back to when you started...you see how far you have come.

February 8, 2011 - immigration laws changing. I believe this is the first proper post where I've discussed in detail about being an international student and things we have to think about. From then on, I have dedicated 2 other posts (Tidbit for International Students and Life of an International Student) to give a bit more insight about the life of an INTERNATIONAL medical student. To be honest, being an international student isn't that much more different than a local British student. We go through the same course. We get treated the same. We learn the same things. We see the same things. The only difference is our accents, and our passports...and the fact we have to worry about Visas and immigration laws. But other than that, being an international student hasn't been that hard of a transition that I had initially thought. Before I started medical school, my biggest fear was the fact I was an international student and it might be a bit harder for me to make friends or get used to the culture. Again during Freshers week...everyone was just so friendly...I didn't feel different. I didn't feel that much of an outsider. There were a few times in the last 2.5 years where it was frustrating to be an international student due to the lack of support from the medical school, but you learn to manage. As an international student, you make a lot of sacrifice. You leave your family behind. You leave home behind (which can be thousands of miles away). You pay higher fees. But hey hopefully it will be worth it. Hopefully this is something I will not regret. At the end of the day...hopefully this will be all worth it. Homesickness is a huge thing for international students and a lot of my friends do struggle with this...including me. Every time this happens I just have to take a break and tell myself it will be worth it and think about all the obstacles I have already been through and how far I have come. What makes me wake up every morning is the end prospect from studying medicine. I am grateful to be in such a great field and the experiences I have had so far have been amazing. The future with immigration and working in the UK - not a straight path and one with many bumps, but the fact I have made so many sacrifices just gives me so much more motivation and determination to make it work. Work hard and hopefully have a bit of luck on my side when it comes to jobs.

August 7, 2009 - first tip post. Not exactly one of my best tip post, but hey we all got to start somewhere. Obviously this blog was to keep a track of my crazy life of being a medical student, but also to give some tips to future medical applicants. I try my best and over the last 2 years I have posted quite a few tip posts here and there. Applying to medical school is no easy process and I wished I got some tips. My school back in Canada was not very good with helping out students with applying abroad as they are not very familiar with the process. It was a difficult process as I had to do a lot of stuff myself and call up universities in the middle of the night (my time due to the time difference) to get some more information. Hopefully with my tip posts I am able to help future applicants with the process. Obviously I applied 3ish years ago so UKCAT info and tips are a bit off, but I'm sure the interview process is still the same. Now I'm trying to focus on giving tips on surviving medical school. Little tricks I have learned here and there. I remember my very first medical school lecture, one of my professors told all of us: "Life is not fair." And it is so true and particularly true with medical school. So here is a tip to all of you: Life is not fair. You cannot have your way with everything...unfortunately, BUT what you can do is make the best of every experience no matter how undesirable it is. There is always something to learn. Stay humble and treat those around you with the same respect you would expect in return. You will meet a lot of people throughout medical school and treat everyone well as you never know, you might see he or she again in the future. Consultants on placements - treat them with as much respect as you can as who knows, he or she may just be your future employer in a few years. Don't do anything you will regret, even outside of school hours as things can come back and bite you on the ass. Unfortunately as a medical student - we got to grow up very fast. We start medical school at around 18 or 19 years old...you will see patients of all ages and they expect professional behaviour despite your age. Also grow some thick skin - consultants can be very unforgiving. Do your best to not take it personal. At the end of the day their criticisms are for your own good.

June 2, 2012 - post #100. It has been quite a journey and I expect more ups and downs in the next 2 years. Being a doctor is starting to get real. Now going through my specialty placements, I'm starting to do more and more on placements. This post has made me look back and realize how much I have grown emotionally and mentally. Thank you to all you readers out there and keeping me going on this blog. I really appreciate it. Happy reading!

Orthopaedic Clinic.

A bit hard to believe but I've only got 2 more weeks of Orthopaedics left. It definitely flew by despite not being a very "intense" placement. Actually it was extremely slack...but it still went by very quickly as I'm still having fun and having a good time. With this particular specialty at my school, students aren't placed in Orthopaedics for very long. Through the regular rotations through the school we only get about 1 week of Orthopaedics so consultants/registrars don't get to know you very well. With me, because I had self-designed my placement to be in Orthopaedics for 6 weeks...consultants find it weird that I've been around for a lot longer than most people. Every week I attend early morning meetings to discuss about cases and I can tell that the consultants are starting to expect me in meetings and I'm becoming a familiar sight. They are all acknowledging my presence and are talking to me, which is a bit of a surprise as I haven't really followed any of them to clinics/theatre so in general the only time they see me is when I attend their meetings (once a week). 

Essentially I go to clinic twice a week, and we would see quite a lot of patients in a half-day clinic. When I first started out on my first week, I essentially just sat in clinic and observed. The week after, I was allowed to go take full patient histories and then present them to my supervisor in front of the patient, but I would watch my supervisor perform examinations on the joints. Third week: full patient history + joint examination on my own, then present to my supervisor in front of the patient. Fourth week (now): take a full patient history, full joint examination, differential diagnosis + formulate a management plan. I think my supervisor is doing a really good job in terms of allowing me to progress and allow me to do a bit more with every week. Finally getting things to do and a bit of responsibility, which is nice. It also makes the clinic a bit more enjoyable as sitting through a whole clinic and not doing anything gets fairly boring, especially in such a specialized clinic (lower limbs). Patients generally come in with the same complaints so when we get new patients, I get to at least get up and walk around and do a bit of talking/interaction with patients in a side room, while my supervisor sees a follow-up patient. I actually think it helps the clinic move a bit faster as we are seeing two patients at a time at some points and when I present my patient, it obviously takes less time than doing a history on the spot and my supervisor is starting to trust my examination findings so he only needs to quickly check instead of going through all the motions.

I think I'm actually learning a lot as my history taking skills and examination skills can always be improved on so with all this practice, I believe I have improved a lot. Taking a pain history is quite easy now and it is something I don't really need to think about anymore and I hardly miss any questions out as I'm seeing so many patients and getting lots of practice in. This is definitely giving me a bit of a head start compared to other students as other students use their "self-design" placement as a holiday by applying to do a project in "sign language" or something really random. With my placement, it is almost like a regular rotational placement that we get placed in and I'm doing a lot of clinical things which is obviously helping me improve and giving me a lot of opportunities to practice and formulate management plans (which aren't really taught to us...it is something we have to learn on placements).

Overall, really enjoying my time in clinics (can't believe I am enjoying clinics) and they go by fairly quickly as well. My supervisor asks me questions from time to time so he keeps me thinking and he teaches and shows me a lot of x-rays throughout clinic as well. Like I said about my last O&G placement, supervisors definitely matter and they can make a huge difference in your placement. Can't believe only 2 more weeks left...I could do another month of this! Starting to become a routine and I'm starting to feel a bit more comfortable. Best bit is that I'm not in every single day from 9-5, so I get to work on a project/audit at the same time so it keeps my week interesting/varied. Plus I'm getting some free time to enjoy the odd sunny weather here in the UK. Loving it.

Expectations.

Everyone has his or her own expectations for certain things. In my case: I had my own expectations for this placement (Obs & Gynae). Before I even started this new year and embarked on my specialty placements, I had already made up my mind about some of the specialties. And I have once again been proven wrong and again shouldn't be making judgments before even starting a specialty. You would think I would learn by now not to judge so early. Before I started O&G I constantly told myself that it is going to be my worst placement ever and I will truly hate it. I was not looking forward to it. I even marked it on my calendar as: "Ugh." To make things short, I had extremely low expectations for O&G. And you know what, sometimes I like being proven wrong. Don't get me wrong I have respect for the specialty, it just never clicked with me. You get this whole: "Awkwardddd women's health...it's going to be weeeirdddd!". I think in general anything that deals with bits downstairs is a whole taboo subject.

So I went back to my archives and read up on my blog post that I typed up before starting the specialty:

"My next placement is Obstetric and Gynaecology. I'm actually really scared for this as I don't really know what to expect as well. Should be interesting as I'll definitely be able to go to theatre (YES!); however, it'll be dealing with quite a sensitive subject so I'll definitely need to change from being playful in Paeds to professional for this specialty. Hopefully I'll be able to compose myself and try to enjoy this specialty as much as I can. First I'll need to go to a week of lectures before commencing my placement. I much rather having lectures first before going to placement as at least I'll have some basic knowledge prior to going to the hospital so I won't look like an idiot in front of the doctors. I also hope I'll have a really nice/easy going/chill supervisor. My last supervisor on paediatrics was very easy-going, which made the placement much more enjoyable. Crossing my fingers that I'll be just as lucky this time with Obs+Gyn. Another 7 weeks of Obs+Gyn and then Easter Holiday! I can't wait for holiday. To be honest...I kinda need one now!"

I really can't blame myself for being scared as it is a sensitive subject, but in terms of changing my behaviour from playful to professional was something I was a bit unsure about as I'm naturally a "happy-go-lucky" so I was a bit nervous for that change. Thinking back through the last few weeks, I haven't had so much fun on placement. Even more fun than my paediatric placement. Yes I have to be professional and build a good rapport with patients to talk about more sensitive things, but I realized that if I'm having a good time, the rapport comes naturally and you as a person become a bit more easier to approach and get along with. In paeds I was told that it was "written all over me" that I was not enjoying my placement. For this placement, yes I went in knowing I'll hate it, but I really wanted to make sure that I didn't make it obvious that I'm not enjoying the attachment. Because I went in with such low expectations I was open for anything and had little expectations. This actually helped me be a bit more welcome to anything and I think a lot of the staff and my supervisor could see that. I was even told by the nurses that some of the patients thought I was a "breath of fresh air" as I was always smiling on the wards and just enjoying my time. A patient told me that most of the staff look bored, but I look interested and just trying to have fun. Because in my last placement in paeds I looked super bored, it was probably the main reason it took me a bit longer to get to know the staff and interact with the patients.

And I can't really call it luck anymore with getting a nice/easy going/chill supervisor. I've said it before, but at the end of the day, a consultant/supervisor is a person as well. Yes they too have expectations for me and I try to meet their expectations, but because they are also people, you can certainly have some good banter with them. I got to know my supervisor and probably saw my supervisor the most out of the rest of my group so I guess he got to know me better than the others. Definitely made the attachment more enjoyable as I could feel that my supervisor genuinely cared about my learning and it's also nice to get to know your supervisor as it'll keep my blood pressure and heart rate from shooting through the roof whenever I see him. In some placements I would purposely avoid my supervisor just to avoid getting told off/being quizzed. For this placement, I didn't mind bumping into my supervisor on the ward or even in the corridors. I think we also had a "mutual understanding". He knew what my personality is like and what sort of student I am so he didn't form unrealistic expectations for me so that put me at ease and allowed me to feel comfortable in the hospital.  Again it is a two-way process. I know when my supervisor didn't want to see me and I guess I'm fairly good at telling when I can be cracking jokes. I guess it is a skill I definitely cherish as like I said I'm a "happy-go-lucky" and a bit of a prankster/joker who is quite cheeky as well...so I definitely need to know where to draw my line with each person.

All in all, I think this attachment has worked out really well and essentially exceeded my expectations. I have definitely gained a heck lot more respect for the specialty and it has definitely changed my view on the specialty. It really ain't that bad at the end of the day. The doctors are also pretty cool people as well so it was good. The hospital was great as well and was really good at making sure medical students are learning and interacting. Following a doctor around is one thing, but being able to assist and do things is a whole other ball game that makes your attachment so much better. This could be the very last time I'll be doing O&G for the rest of my career, but hey if I do get a rotation in it in the future, I won't mind doing it again. Hate to say this, but this is easily the best placement I have ever had so far. Who would've thought I would be saying this 7 weeks later. I wish all my placements can be this good. Now I'm scared about my future attachments as this placement has set the bar so high. How can I go back to just following a doctor around? How can I go back to standing in theatre not scrubbed in and peering over the surgeon's shoulder? Will I get along with my next supervisor how I got along with my supervisor now? What are my expectations for my next placements now?

Thank you for proving me wrong and giving me the best 7 weeks of my medical degree. What a placement. Damn. Can't believe it is over. The one time I am dreading for the end of a placement. I guess one good thing about this is that I finally get a much needed 3 week holiday.

Side note: Will be on holiday for the next 3 weeks and I, most likely, will not be posting as I really need a break. Sorry! 

O&G - Done!

One of the most stressful days ever. Let's just say this placement never really got my heart rate and blood pressure up until today (my last day). Waited to do my final assessment with my supervisor and I was really stressed out. Hate waiting around. You see if this was one day earlier, I would not be as stressed out. I was a bit of a smart ass and booked to leave for home 1 day before official holiday. Seriously talk about luck. Supervisor couldn't do my assessment until my final day...5 hours before the departure of my train to go to the airport. Essentially, we are allowed to resit our assessment if our supervisor believe we are incompetent. You would usually resit the assessment immediately or the week after, BUT because we are doing our assessment in the final week  on my last day of placement, I don't really get another go. So that means I have ONE shot at this assessment. I pass...I pass. I fail...let's just say that is NOT an option. I essentially needed a bit of skill (to pass the assessment) and a heck lot of luck to not only pass my assessment, but to also catch my train. Doing an assessment is already stressful enough especially when you've got only 1 shot at it. Travelling is also another very stressful thing. Put the two together (assessment AND travelling) is the formula for a heart attack. Yes why should I be worrying about my assessment? I worked hard. I came in every day. Didn't skive. Studied...a bit. Practiced my examination skills quite a bit. So why am I not confident? Simple. Anything can happen eg. bad luck such as getting a difficult patient, blanking out aka brain fart, nerves, etc. I think I'm pretty chill with my supervisor and I don't really "fear" him that much, BUT at the end of the day yes he is a person...but he is also my SUPERVISOR, which I cannot forget. He essentially is the one who determines whether I pass or fail this placement. Kind of hard not to be a bit scared/nervous/stressed/intimidated.

Anyways luckily I passed my assessment and it all went very well. Got all my forms signed off, handed in my locker keys, and next thing I knew, I was saying my goodbyes to the staff and shaking hands with my supervisor: "I guess that's it. 7 weeks. Done. I really enjoyed the placement. Thank you. Maybe we will meet again in the future, maybe not. It was a pleasure to meet you and your team. Thanks again." It was probably the first genuine "thank you" I have said to a supervisor at the end of a placement. These last 7 weeks have opened my eyes and taught me not to judge. I have never done so much active learning in one placement. Best bit: I wanted to learn. I wasn't forced. What a great overall placement. I guess the only way to show your gratitude towards a placement is to work hard and show that you have learned. Actions certainly do speak louder than words. Even my good friend said that if only my supervisor saw what type of student I was on placements and how much I have changed in terms of motivation and work ethic - only then it is obvious how much I enjoyed this placement.

What a placement. Who would've thought.

The Grind.

Clinic here. Clinic there. What a brutal week. I don't mind clinics...but I do mind them when I have 2 clinics per day from 9-5pm. I have now grown to fear Antenatal Clinics. It is essentially an overbooked clinic where you talk to high risk pregnant ladies and just following up on their pregnancy. It's nice as you spend about 10-15 minutes with each lady; however, after 5 pregnant women...it gets very boring.

Not only did I have Antenatal Clinics, but I also had to attend Gynae Clinics, which I admit are a bit more exciting/interesting. Gynae Clinic is where patients come in with problems downstairs. This could include menorrhagia, dymenorrhoea, discharge, etc. Because I was with my supervisor, Mr R, I was able to carry out a few examinations and after being taught how to use a Cusco Speculum in theatre, I was finally able to try it out on a patient who is awake. I gotta admit...I was extremely nervous as I obviously don't want to cause any pain and the Cusco can easily cause pain. I managed to find the cervix in the first go and I felt a sense of pride come over me and Mr R was complimenting on my technique. It definitely filled me with confidence and to be honest...inserting the Cusco wasn't that difficult. I don't know why I was pissing my pants about it. I also really appreciate patients being so tolerant with students. I mean if I needed to get my downstairs checked up...the last thing I want in clinic with me is a medical student...and no way the student will be going near my bits. I mean these patients who allow us to practice our skills really need to be more appreciated. It's one thing to practice on a plastic mannequin but being able to practice on a real patient is a whole new ball game and it really helps build confidence. It also helps when your supervisor is keen to allow you to practice skills and perform examinations. Overall I enjoyed my clinic with Mr R as he was also in a good mood and we finished clinic on time (RARE!). Learned loads, got to do examinations + Cusco, and had a lot of good banter and many good laughs.

Unfortunately, I cannot say that I had as much fun with the rest of my clinics. Note to self: READ UP before attending special interest clinics. I literally got wiped all over the floor by another consultant when I went to Colposcopy and Gestational Diabetes Clinic on Tuesday. Because I had an evening meeting, I did not have time to read up on the clinic and I wrongly assumed that the consultant I was going to have wouldn't quiz me like Mr R does. To my demise...this consultant LOVES quizzing and I got my butt kicked. It was so embarrassing. I have never felt so dumb either. I kept blanking out and my heart was racing with every question. Worst bit is that I know the answers to the questions...or more like I SHOULD know the answers but I couldn't spit it out as I had not done any revision. Definitely taught me a good lesson and ever since Tuesday I did some reading prior to clinics especially clinics with consultants I haven't met yet.

On top of all the clinics this week...hands down...I have never worked so hard on placement...ever.  I was putting in so much extra time. Usually we are expected to be in 9-5pm on a standard day.  Monday...technically didn't have to go in until 10:30am for a tutorial. I went in at 9am to take a full patient history for my case study report. Tuesday: 9am clinic...went in at 8am to get a different patient history as the patient history on Monday wasn't good enough for my case study (ended up not seeing any patients as there was a ward round going on). Then had clinic in the afternoon which did not end until 5pm. Went to the ward to see if there are any more interesting patients...didn't leave until 6pm. Wednesday: 9am start for clinic...but stayed until 6pm...when I could've went home at 3:30pm (clinic finished very early) - was chasing after some patient notes I had requested for as I forgot to copy down info. Thursday: 9am start (clinic). Gave up my lunch hour to go read up the patient notes that I had requested for. Then had teaching from 2pm-3pm. Went to clinic...which didn't end until 5:30pm. Friday: FINALLY a normal day - 9pm-5pm.

Worst bit about this case study I was chasing around for a whole week - I ended up writing up on the first patient history I took Monday morning. Most annoying bit: of ALL the patients I could've picked, I picked a patient who was under the care of my supervisor (who is also marking my essay). I didn't want to do up a report on my supervisor's patient as he would know the patient history well so I definitely have to write accurately. This unfortunate coincidence doesn't end there. I thought I could get away with this patient case study as my supervisor had no idea which patient I am writing up, but also this patient presented with a fairly common problem (urinary retention post-op total abdo hysterectomy) so it could easily be anyone. Because the patient was discharged later in the afternoon on Monday and I needed to look at the notes, I requested for the notes to return to the ward so I can read through them. They arrived on Thursday, but were delivered to my supervisor's secretary. No problem right? Wrong...the secretary shares the same office as my supervisor, but luckily my supervisor was called to cover a clinic for another consultant for a few minutes. Perfect - quickly ran to fetch the notes, except the secretary forbid me from leaving the office with the notes. I knew my supervisor had just left his office as his computer was still on (screensaver wasn't up yet), and his chair was still warm. I predicted that my supervisor would be back in 30 minutes so I quickly went through the patient notes.

Unfortunately...my supervisor returned in 10 minutes and found me lounging on his chair and working at his desk and I had moved all his stuff to the side to give myself some room to write. Doh! I quickly stood up and moved over to finish up copying out important info about the patient's operation. My supervisor got curious as why the heck was I in his office, and who's notes was I looking up. He knew I have been working on my case report...and obviously his curiosity took over and he was trying to see the patient name. I kept my hand over the patient label on each page; however, in the 2 seconds I bent over to pick up my pen, which I dropped, my cheeky supervisor took the notes and found out which patient I was writing about. I was obviously a bit annoyed as now my supervisor definitely knows who I am writing about, but now also knows what I will be writing about in my report. He promptly refreshed his memory by flipping through the notes while I stood next to him giving off a dumb face. Guess I really have to do a good job on my essay now that my supervisor knows I'm writing up about his patient and the fact he remembers the patient as well. Great. Bonus bit: my essay is due in 3 days...2 weeks earlier than everyone else. What a tiring week. Hopefully all this hard work will pay off in the end. Next week: Labour Week. Going to be VERY tiring. Long shifts. Lots of waiting around. Yikes.

End of Paediatrics.

7 weeks have passed which means I am done with my paediatrics placement! To be honest, it actually went by really fast. I got to admit that the first few weeks went by really slowly...to the point I was dreading the placement. Luckily, the placement started to blow by as I got to know the doctors and nurses on the ward and in general felt more welcomed.  I think 7 weeks was plenty of time for a taster of the specialty so my impression of paediatrics? Not for me. But I won't 100% remove it from my potential list of specialties as I find the surgical side of paediatrics fairly interesting. On my last day of paeds I had a lecture about paediatric orthopaedics, and to be fair...it seems quite interesting. These surgeons see a lot of different conditions ranging from pathological to congenital conditions. Definitely something I wouldn't mind considering in the future.

Also another reason to celebrate about the end of the placement is that I have passed my placement based assessment!!! I was really nervous for it, but it went really well. Did a full patient history on a boy with pneumonia and did a cardiovascular and respiratory examination on him.  I also got a lot of feedback from my supervisor, which was good as I'm constantly trying to improve and do better. I also managed to finish all my essays and reflective writing all in time along with my log book! Really stressful weekend, but everything came together in the end. I was really chuffed with it and after Monday (where everything was due including my assessment), I felt like the world was off my shoulders. I felt so much more at ease and just felt a sense of relaxation. I can finally enjoy the placement again and just take it easy for the last few days on my placement. On top of that, end of paediatrics = end of driving a long way to placement. My next placement is only a 15 minute drive (which is closer than the central hospital from where I live), so I'm excited for that. I no longer have to wake up at a ridiculous time to drive. I've also heard fantastic reviews about the next hospital I will be going to as they like to pride themselves in teaching medical students.

My next placement is Obstetric and Gynaecology. I'm actually really scared for this as I don't really know what to expect as well. Should be interesting as I'll definitely be able to go to theatre (YES!); however, it'll be dealing with quite a sensitive subject so I'll definitely need to change from being playful in Paeds to professional for this specialty. Hopefully I'll be able to compose myself and try to enjoy this specialty as much as I can. First I'll need to go to a week of lectures before commencing my placement. I much rather having lectures first before going to placement as at least I'll have some basic knowledge prior to going to the hospital so I won't look like an idiot in front of the doctors. I also hope I'll have a really nice/easy going/chill supervisor. My last supervisor on paediatrics was very easy-going, which made the placement much more enjoyable. Crossing my fingers that I'll be just as lucky this time with Obs+Gyn. Another 7 weeks of Obs+Gyn and then Easter Holiday! I can't wait for holiday. To be honest...I kinda need one now!

A Sigh of Relief.

Today was quite a cheerful day...well minus the gloomy/ridiculous weather. Went to meet my supervisor for my research attachment at the Bone Metabolism Centre. My supervisor has lectured us quite a few times during our MSK unit, but I always had the impression of him being a quiet/awkward guy. After meeting him - wow...he is a really chill person. He was relaxed and it was quite fun to talk to him. He told my group and I (3 of us in total) what the project entails and what is expected from us and everything just seems really straight forward. Best thing I heard was that he knows that we should be studying for exams and will not be expecting us to do 9-5 every day. In fact, he only expects us to come in once in awhile and go to some seminars/lectures and maybe visit the gait lab to see the equipment used and what the volunteers will be put through. Super excited about this. He also said that it isn't an intense research attachment and all of us breathed a sigh of relief. We were really worried that we'll be really busy and won't have time to study.

I'm definitely looking forward to this attachment and hopefully I'll get my schedule soon. We are supposed to start tomorrow but when we were leaving our supervisor said: "See you next week!". So I assume we get the rest of the week off...or until we get our schedule! Exciting stuff. To be honest I'm not being lazy and stuff as I'm genuinely really excited for this attachment and it is one that I wanted to do, but it really got the best of two worlds. Equal balance of the attachment and as well giving me study time to concentrate for exams. Great stuff.

As well, before the meeting the medical school decided to add a new clinical skill session for our year - venepuncture. We got to draw blood on plastic arm models and it was really fun. Gave us a reminder that we are studying to become doctors. Sometimes you tend to forget due to all the preclinical lectures of all the basics - you lose sight of what you're studying and sometimes it is nice to get reminded from time to time that in a few months we'll be on the wards and in three years we'll be qualified! Still seems a bit surreal.

Today was a great day...shame the weather couldn't cooperate though!