Reality.

So I've been back for just over a week now and have started lectures. These lectures have literally made me question why I am studying Medicine. It has been a horrible week. 9am - 5pm lectures. I can fly back to Canada in that time period! I do not know what is going on with my medical school...but 9-5 lectures do not work. No one can concentrate for that long. I really have to admit it was tough. Not only was it tough, but I was dealing with jet lag so my days felt like weeks. I actually thought time had stopped as my days were going by so slowly.

All these lectures actually made me lose focus of my ultimate goal: to be a doctor. I was struggling to find my footing and was not motivated at all. I mean I have definitely found my footing again after having a good rest during the weekend. Yesterday I had Diabetes Teaching which was more interactive and practical. Definitely lifted my spirits and gave me a bit of motivation. I'm sure once placements come around again I will be inspired and motivated again.

After talking to a few good friends, I feel a bit better. One of my friends pointed out that I never give up in anything I do and giving up Medicine is not an option. And you know what, she is right. I never give up and I am not prepared to give up now. I'm halfway through my degree and it can only get better. Just need to put my head down and power through these lectures and assignments. I had a passion for medicine and when I really think about it - I still have a passion for it. There were some sparkles of hope today during our practical session and tomorrow I will be seeing diabetic patients. I am actually excited so I know my passion for medicine is still with me. Just need to get through 3 more days of lectures and I'll be back on the wards. I will be examined on my clinical skills soon so I'll be able to do some clinical skills on the wards. I just need to be patient and keep going.

You know while writing this post, it made me think. This is what medicine is about. Fighting adversity. Overcoming challenges. Pick yourself up and keep moving. On the wards - you will face challenges. You will have to make difficult decisions. There will always be ups and downs throughout your career and you have to learn how to deal with them. These days have been long and will only get longer when I become a doctor. Time to get used to it. This is reality.