A Mask.

This isn't a new revelation, but one that has occurred to me more during my GP placement.

I have come to realize that doctors need to put on a mask most of the time as patients come to doctors for various kinds of problems. No matter how annoyed you are about a patient or how fed up you are with your clinic, you cannot let it show. There are tons of patients out there who visit the GP 2-4x a month and I'm sure as the GP you can get frustrated/annoyed with the patient especially when they are coming in for insignificant things.  It is definitely difficult as patients expect the doctor to be professional and empathetic, but it is extremely difficult to show this when the patient themselves aren't coming in with the right intentions. I have sat in clinics where the patient is very rude and overly demanding. And as a doctor, you can't do anything about their rudeness, other than still treat them respectfully and try your best to listen. Definitely need a high tolerance level when dealing with "troublesome" patients. On the contrary, there are certainly very nice patients (usually tend to be the elderly). They are usually very respectful and always apologizing about wasting your time. These are the patients who are worth treating and you can't help but be a bit more empathetic, despite knowing that you're supposed to treat all patients with empathy and care.

However, masks are not just for GPs. As I have mentioned earlier, I have encountered it in my other placements. You would think surgeons wouldn't need to put on a mask as often, as they have a bit less patient contact. Unfortunately, surgeons have just as much face time with patients; however, the reasons of putting on a mask may be different. After a surgery and you have to break some bad news/complications about the surgery, you have to be able to put on a confident face and an appropriate mask. There isn't as much time for you to gather yourself after the operation. GPs or physicians in general would get results/bad news ahead of time so they will be ready and have time to think about how they will break the news. It is definitely a tough job as you don't want to show that much emotion when talking to patients especially after a tough case/surgery.

With clinics, you could enjoy the company of one of the patients and be laughing about something, but you have to be able to quickly return back to neutral before seeing your next patient. It can work the other way around as for one particular case, we were giving our condolences to a patient as her father had just passed away the day before and she was telling us about his death. Definitely an emotional/sad moment where you have to again put on a mask and empathize and comfort the patient. Easily within 2 minutes between patients, you have to regain your composure and be ready for the next patient as he or she can come in with anything. You certainly can't let things affect you and as well for doctors, you have to be good with moving on. You can't dwell on one particular case.

There has been arguments that doctors should not bring their outside emotions to work. Despite having a horrible morning, people argue that you shouldn't bring that grumpiness into the work place. I personally agree with that point as it isn't fair to your patients and your colleagues. I have met a few GPs who said that it is important to bring your emotions to work as you will seem more genuine. I don't mind bringing in a good mood to work, but I certainly wouldn't want to bring in grumpiness to the work place as you can easily affect your patients and colleagues. No one wants to see a grumpy doctor. In my eyes, I think my emotions should not affect my work, so even in that sense, you will have to put on a mask before coming to work especially when you're having a bad day. People argue as a doctor you should be genuine, but for me it is far more advantageous if I put on a mask for work and sort out my issues/problems when I go home/leave work.

What are your thoughts about putting on a mask for work or bringing your emotions to work?

Post your comments below!

Life of an International Student.

Winter holiday is coming to an end and it literally blew by. First came Christmas. Next thing you know it was New Year's eve. Then we welcomed a new year - 2012. I celebrated these festivities with my family and knowing that this is probably the last Christmas/New Year I will spend back at home before I graduate really gave us the urgency to do as much as we could this winter holiday. Ate lots of good food and did quite a bit of shopping. Really tried my best to take in as much of home as much as I could. Also tried my best to spend as much time as I could with my family. I really don't know when is the next time I'm coming back home. It is a really sad thought. School is getting busier and I am getting shorter holidays.

In a blink of an eye I will be heading to the airport to fly back to England. I hate going to the airport and saying "goodbye". Tears my heart every time.  It will never get easy. It is really hard to see your parents sad to see you leave. Sometimes I wonder if going to study thousands of miles away from home a good choice. Unlike local students, I can't just spontaneously decide to go home for the weekend. Home is in a different country thousands of miles away. Thinking about it, international students make huge sacrifices to come to England to study. So food for thought: when parents of international students come to visit, don't tease them.  Sometimes flying back home isn't an option so the next best thing is for parents to come visit. Think about the sacrifices we make for a better education and the opportunity to study things that may not be available in our home countries.

Life of an international student is not easy.

5 More Days.

So yesterday it finally set in...the sense of impending doom - exam is just around the corner. It has been a very tough revision period. It was particularly hard to muster up some motivation as it is quite weird to have an exam so soon (as I just had an exam in May). I think I'm still recovering from May's exam - it was brutal/traumatizing. Horrible experience.

I've spent about 6 weeks revising now, and I feel like I haven't really learned anything, which is an unsettling feeling. Worst bit is that no matter how much I study/revise, I am not going to know everything. That's the thing with Medicine, it's just a bottomless pit of knowledge. Give me another month, I'd still find something to study. Went to look at specimen papers earlier today - had a semi-realization. No book will teach you how to pass a clinical year exam. It seriously is common sense. I mean I went through a whole paper and I was like "...nothing I've studied has been asked." Then I realized clinical questions is the application of knowledge. Take the basics and apply it to the question. No book will teach you how to diagnose. It is a matter of taking what you know and putting it together to form an answer...like a puzzle. After 2 years of medical sciences, you forget that Medicine isn't about 2+2 = 4. It's more abstract and requires critical thinking and pattern recognition. And then I kept flipping through the specimen and seriously some of the questions they ask really deserves a fat: "What...?" And then you look up the answer in a textbook and find the answer in tiny fonts as a footnote at the bottom of a page. Seriously think some questions are put into exams just so it's impossible to get 100%. If anyone ever gets 100% in our exams I will personally go to them and bow to them. Then again I forgot how disliked my year is in the medical school so I'm pretty sure there will be questions on the exam where you just want to pick up the paper and throw it at someone.

Anyways...looking forward to end of exams and at the same time I am scared out of my mind for this year's exam. Ugh. ALMOST THERE!

Reality.

So I've been back for just over a week now and have started lectures. These lectures have literally made me question why I am studying Medicine. It has been a horrible week. 9am - 5pm lectures. I can fly back to Canada in that time period! I do not know what is going on with my medical school...but 9-5 lectures do not work. No one can concentrate for that long. I really have to admit it was tough. Not only was it tough, but I was dealing with jet lag so my days felt like weeks. I actually thought time had stopped as my days were going by so slowly.

All these lectures actually made me lose focus of my ultimate goal: to be a doctor. I was struggling to find my footing and was not motivated at all. I mean I have definitely found my footing again after having a good rest during the weekend. Yesterday I had Diabetes Teaching which was more interactive and practical. Definitely lifted my spirits and gave me a bit of motivation. I'm sure once placements come around again I will be inspired and motivated again.

After talking to a few good friends, I feel a bit better. One of my friends pointed out that I never give up in anything I do and giving up Medicine is not an option. And you know what, she is right. I never give up and I am not prepared to give up now. I'm halfway through my degree and it can only get better. Just need to put my head down and power through these lectures and assignments. I had a passion for medicine and when I really think about it - I still have a passion for it. There were some sparkles of hope today during our practical session and tomorrow I will be seeing diabetic patients. I am actually excited so I know my passion for medicine is still with me. Just need to get through 3 more days of lectures and I'll be back on the wards. I will be examined on my clinical skills soon so I'll be able to do some clinical skills on the wards. I just need to be patient and keep going.

You know while writing this post, it made me think. This is what medicine is about. Fighting adversity. Overcoming challenges. Pick yourself up and keep moving. On the wards - you will face challenges. You will have to make difficult decisions. There will always be ups and downs throughout your career and you have to learn how to deal with them. These days have been long and will only get longer when I become a doctor. Time to get used to it. This is reality.